WEDDINGS

I have delusions of grandeur!!  You will see from our wedding photograph that we had a very upmarket, posh, swanky wedding.  Money was no object.  I wanted to feel like royalty.  We definitely succeeded.

 Yes, you guessed, this isn't really our Wedding.  I play around on photoshop and this is the Queen's Wedding with me and my hubby's heads on.

Here is a little card I did for my nephew and his bride for their 'Royal Wedding' to say thank for letting us be part of their 'Special' day.  It was as beautiful and elegant and wonderful as a real Royal Wedding.  For the background I used salt, to give it a dreamlike quality.

ANNIE ARKWRIGHT'S BASQUE

Gosh seems ages since my last post.  I have been trying to set up a facebook page.  What a nightmare I have found it! Still battling away..............

Annie Arkwright got her gift from Santa, this lovely basque as yer can see.  It's were all because of reading that there book, it were called 'Fifty Shades of Grey. She bought some control pants from M&S on t'High Street ('which' best buy) and some sexy black wellies to match, from Oxfam  down Accrington Lane,  and some hair decorations from t' pound shop on Wigan Road. Dunt she look a belter!

 

 

She's had her first date, Sidney Smithson-Smith from Thirkettle, age 55 who liked buxom, older women.  His interests are clog dancing and whippets.

 

Suitably clad, Annie nervously opened the door to this reet posh  'hyphened'  bloke.  Whereupon he said 'aye up' had a panic attack, turned round, ran as fast as he could, and was ne'er seen again.

 

(See post 4 December to see Annie before she'd read Fifty Shades of Grey)

 



HAPPY NEW YEAR

I can't begin to tell you how inspirational I have found starting my 2 blogs Painting & Nonsense and my  Watercolour Blog which is more serious.  I've met some lovely people, and you have given me the joy of painting back.  I thank you.

I wish my arty blog friends a Wonderful 2013 and for those who are having a difficult time I wish you a better New Year.

If you have your health you have wealth
If you have friends you are rich
If you have arty bloggy friends you have inspiration a-plenty.
(Polly:31.12.12 A.D)

 

My New Year Arty Resolutions

 

l. Paint more often

2. Paint different subjects and media

3. Experiment more

4. Don't use ultraminarine in every painting

5. Enjoy the battle, be brave and have fun throughout each battle.

 

Have you any arty resolutions?



MISSING SNOWMAN SAGA

We had a wonderful Christmas/Holiday

 I hope you all did too, whatever you did.






We stayed at a hotel in the Lake District shown in the photograph.  Well, I put a snowman on the door handle outside of our room.  Thought it would make people smile.  Well the joke was on me, because on Christmas Day he disappeared, legged it, was gone, kidnapped, half inched (pinched) in other words!!!  I was sad then angry (stupid really he only cost £1) it was just so sad someone had taken him

Whoever took Mr Snowman,
can I have him back....

So I put my thinking cap on and thought what happens when someone goes missing.  I know, make a 'missing' poster.  So henceforth, notwithstanding, I made an aforementioned notice forthwith, with a picture of the missing person emblazoned on it and put it on the door handle. I reported it to reception! Yes I really did.  My snowman has gone missing.  Housekeeping remembered seeing it 3 hrs before.  The following morning, well you'll never guess what, he was back!!!!!  Did I prick someone's conscience, or did someone spot the little snowman where he shouldn't be.  I decided to thank whoever took temporary care of him. So left that notice on the handle.  Reception were pleased when I told them.  I wonder what they really thought of me?



Thank you! He's promised not to
wander off again........



MASTERPIECE

The inspiration for my beautifully painted masterpiece was the pure white mist rolling in from the Irish Sea. So mysterious yet beguiling. In fact, eerily spookey.

Painted on mdf  hot pressed, using 2" flat brush, wet into wet,  limited palette of  pure brilliant white 'dulux' (its the window sill of our newly renovated small conservatory).  I now have my painting corner back. Not smelling of damp and the roof not leaking like a sieve.  Hooray!

SANTA & CAROL

"Bet you've forgotten my pressie again this year Dad!"

 

 

 

Ho, ho, ho - No, my daughter!  In the past I have given you the gift of being called Carol, so that people sing your songs every year, also in the past I gave you the gift of tenderness when I presented  you with Rudolph a baby rheindeer, and you have trained him well, he adores you.  This year I have given you the gift of generosity, to personally send to adults presents they so badly need.  Like Fag Ash Lil who needs nicotine patches to help her stop smoking.  Del & Dan who need new white niblicks to improve their golf.  Willie Eckerslike who needs another tv so that he can watch two sports at the same time, and Annie Arkwright, bless her, who needs a red and black basque for who knows what!  So now what do you say my precious daughter?

 

"///**!!!!!~~~xxxxx"  Translated - I wonder what excuse you'll come up with next year!!!

 

I have changed the ending of this tale to protect Carol Christmas's squeaky clean reputation.

 

The characters above are from previous posts (Meet my friends).

 

Remember - yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift that is why we call it the present.

 

Seasons greetings to you.

 



MEET THE BROTHERS-IN-LAW (Niblicks at dawn)

DEL & DAN are reet gradely owd golfers of the worst kind, forsaking the lovely Shufflebottom sisters for a lil ole white ball.  Del (in the ecky thump hat) were a professional footballer and earned £4. 11s 6d a week in the year dot, and Dan's claim ter fame when ee were a tennis player, were a win over Stan Smith.  They both still think they are at t'top of their game, silly twerps.

Last week they invited a Chinese businessman to play a round of golf with them.  The man had never played afore.  Upon his return to China, his family asked him what he had done in England.  The man replied "Played most interesting game.  Hit little white ball with long stick in large field, and name of honourable game is 'Oh Sh*t'."

Next person to meet wears a Red Suit - can you guess who?

AUNTIE PAT

My Auntie Pat died recently, she was a talented, self taught artist, was not professional and just painted for pleasure. She used to meticulously copy a picture (usually landscape) using a graph.  My Auntie only used oils. The complete opposite to me, I paint quickly and loosely, mainly watercolours.  I admire her talent and her patience.

 I just thought it would be nice for other people to see a couple of the paintings that I remember her showing me, which are now in my possession.

 

I wonder what she would think of her paintings being on the internet for all the world to see?

They're lovely aren't they?

MEET ANNIE ARKWRIGHT

Annie was a gentle, quiet, kind, motherly type of figure, who everyone called Auntie Annie.  She was a good artist, in particular painting weird and wonderful abstracts, she baked lovely cakes for special occasions, like weddings, special anniversaries and for Christmas. A right clever devil really. Until, one day she picked up a book by accident off the shelf in Tesco.  She thought it was an instructional art book about colour mixing. She really needed help with your greys.

Annie here is reading Fifty Shades of Grey!   She has now decided to grow old disgracefully.  She's going to ditch the yellowed bloomers and thermal vest and buy a black and red basque from Evans, and has joined a northern dating agency on t'internet, who claim "We'll get yer a bloke lass". I say, Go Girl!!!

MEET WILLIE ECKERSLIKE

Meet my friend Willie Eckerslike.  He used to be a right raver.  He was an ace footballer with lovely big thighs (OOooh) and a good head of hair to wow the chicks. Willie were a reet cracker!

Now his daily excercise is pressing the buttons on the little black box for t'telly, it fer wears him out.  He watches so much tv that his eyes are the shapes of screens.  "Gerrus a cuppa chuck" he sometimes shouts to his wife. He's a happy man with Sky tv for sport and scones in the afternoon, and the sport pages to read when th'adverts are on. What more could a man want.

This is based on a true story only the name has been changed to protect the innocent!

FRIENDS OF MINE

We recently spent a couple of days in Grasmere. The first day was a glorious autumn day and the reflections in the lake were wonderful. After that the normal pouring rain. We treated ourselves and stayed in a newly renovated and extended hotel called The Daffodil (used to be the Prince of Wales much better name) It is now modern but sparsely decorated except for the brilliant caricatures down the corridors, which inspired me to have a go at doing some.  I found it harder than I expected even though I used Sue Macartney-Snape's pictures (those down said corridors) as my inspiration.

Now let me introduce you to some friends of mine, for today here is Fag Ash Lil (in the style of Sue's pics)

Fag Ash Lil is from Nuggleton by the Sea.  She badly wants to be a WAG and marry a rich footballer.  Her role model is Victoria Beckham.  So she cut her lovely long hair, bought a really smart dress and accessories and thought she looked ever so posh (but they were infact from Primark). She tried to behave dead posh too, but then gave herself away by saying "eeh eck" and "eeh by gum" cos she were from up north, tha knows.

LIVERPOOL ART EXHIBITION

Yesterday I went to see a contemporary art exhibition at the wonderful Liver Building in Liverpool which overlooks the River Mersey.  I always wanted to see inside.  Well, I am cross to say the least, that the art there, I think, is an insult to the so many talented artists there are.  I mean, I know it said contemporary, so I expected some weird pieces, but what a waste to put them in the Liver Building, they should be in a darkened warehouse, as far as I am concerned.  For example, a huge scrunched up ball of gold tin foil, huge video of  a young man singing badly playing a guitar badly, top part of him like a bib shape of white skin and the rest (not down to naughty bits) was covered with gravy browning, or so it seemed.  I cannot for the life of me get it! I'm sure a deep meaning is there somewhere, but not to simple me. I am sorry if anyone reading this likes this type of work, but I think it's a case of Emporer's New Clothes.  I mean I have been to the Tate in Liverpool, and some of the work I really like, but not much.  Am I out of order here. Am I missing something really wonderful.  Does anyone agree with me?

Here is my pic of The Liver Building (also shown on my watercolour blog) along with two other memories of Liverpool.

I'd love to hear anyone else's point of view on this subject.

AUTUMN PAINTING

Well, now that that weather has been blowing and we've had so much rain, the trees are now being laid bare of their beautiful colourful clothes.  How sad, the whole of the winter is before us, the cold, wind and rain - come to think of it it's just a continuation of our awful British summer!

My pastel sketch is of joggers, who, if they are like my hubby, probably just jog for the sake of it and do not notice the magic of autumn. Get a life!

 

Art Gallery

A couple go to an art Gallery.  They look at an oil painting of a naked woman with her private parts covered with leaves.  The wife doesnt particularly like the painting so moves on, but the husband keeps staring at it.  The wife asks "What are you waiting for?".  He replies "Autumn"

PAINTING & POSTER

Well it's 8am in the morning, I should get a life instead of messing about on a computer!  I have to own up, I am in trouble with the law

This is courtesy of www.glassgiant.com, pretty good fun eh?

This was painted in watercolour at night time in my room whilst on an art course with Hazel Soan in Arles.  Well I had to paint Van Gogh's Night Cafe didnt I, especially as I had been there that day.  Tell you what it took me blinking ages.  But the way he exaggerates his angles and his use of complimentary colours is superb. e.g. blue and orange.  Hm, getting technical now. So you see I am a forger!  Oh, I can hear the sirens coming to arrest me.

PAINTINGS OF ME!!!!

Well, you ARE in for a treat!  Two amazing paintings, self portraits,  and a photo of my beautiful, sophisticated, sexy self.  Three completely different styles. 

Had been to Paris and was inspired by the artists in Montmartre.  Done in pastel on cheap pastel paper, yes I'm a cheap skate, you can see the lines on the paper.  It sorta looks like me.

After going to the Klimt exhibition at the Tate Gallery in Livepool, I painted this from of photo of me sat on holiday on a balcony in Spain somewhere, yonks ago.  I added the embelishment in gold pen.

Well, lucky hubby, he had a few days relief from me when he went on a golf holiday.I put this picture in his suitcase to remind him what he was missing! Photoshop can make you look better than you are.

 

WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVOURITE?

PAINTINGS WITH US IN THEM

Each year my hubby and I go with two other couples to stay in a cottage (house really) in Grasmere.  I always have a theme.  This year it was Art.  I always give my friends some form of gift.  Anyway, I searched my small brain for a few ideas and came up with the following:-

Derrick in my very favourite painting

Me posing as Henry VIII or Polly VIII

Dave painting in a William Heaton Cooper View one of his
favourite artists The view is one of Coopers paintings in his beloved
Lake District.  Check them out they are lovely.

Pam as Mona Lisa (couldnt get head right)

 

Beryl having a Beryl Cook moment

 





Malc IS the Laughing Cavalier!!!

 We have a great time, exercising our chuckle muscles.
We are each responsible for the meals for a whole day, and
yes that does include the men.  Very interesting it is too. 
We have some reet good grub.

Dave and I, if the weather is reasonable, go out and paint
en plain air.  How arty is that!

Can't for the life of me get the pic of Malc to go
higher up.  Computers!!!



PAINTING OF RAINBOWVILLE-ON-PUDDLE

PAINTING OF RAINBOWVILLE-ON-PUDDLE

I have a lovely friend called Lesley, who is painting some wonderful quirky paintings of Nuggleton By the Sea which I love.  She weaves a wonderful story around all the buildings and people on each painting she does, and Nuggleton has caught on, as she does commissions and has merchandise to sell and also, hopefully, will be writing a book.  Lesley would love some impartial advice on her project, so do have a look at her site.  Anyway, I thought, for a bit of fun, and to tickle her fancy, I would try and do something in her style.  I can tell you it wasnt half as easy as she makes it appear.   It  makes me realise how good she really is.  Well here is the pic, followed by a bit of nonsense.



 

From Rainbowville-on-Puddle you can take the No. 1 bus, or a boat trip, to Nuggleton By the Sea.   Rainbowville is a perfect place to live as it never ever rains during the day.  All the houses are painted in one of the rainbow colours, and if you went inside you would see the furniture, curtains, cups and saucers and toilet seats and even the toilet rolls etc, are the same colour as the house, and if your house is blue you would always wear something blue, and so on.  You can see Lesley selling her Nuggleton wares, keychains, teatowels, fridge magnets, cards etc.  and Polly, her arty farty friend, is painting beside her.  Boy do they talk and giggle a lot! 

Please pop and see Lesley's site.  You will enjoy it.

PAINTING - A SMILE

 

I saw this picture of a man on google and had to paint him.  It is on a full imperial sheet pastel paper, using charcoal only and white chalk.  We had been to Paris, and I was fascinated by the artists near Sacre Coeur painting people's portraits, and was inspired to give it a bash.  It also reminded me of something I found in a quaint little church in Isel in the Lake District (St Michaels and All Angels, which dates from 1130 AD), it is called A Smile.  Some days I think about it and as I walk down the street and see someone looking a bit glum, I smile at them.  It is surprising how many smile back.  Try it. 

 

A Smile costs nothing but gives much

It enriches those who receive it without making poorer those who give it

Takes but a moment but the memory sometimes last forever

None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it

And none is so poor but he can be made rich with it

A Smile creates happiness in the home

Fosters good will in business

And is the countersign of friendship

It brings rest to the weary, cheers the discouraged

Sunshine to the sad and its natures

Best antidote for trouble

Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen

For it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away

Some people are too tired to give you a smile

Give him one of yours as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give

 

Now here is one of mine for you

 

 

 

PAINTING & HALLOWEEN

Well Halloween is nearly upon us.  Just in case you're going out for a meal for the occasion, may I recommend the restaurant below.  The food was rather good, also the blood red wine - but if you are a vegetarian do not go there.

Oh what a tangled web we weave...................

This was done using masking fluid first and then having fun with wet in wet.  Not my usual style being a bit abstract.

By the way, it took me over 4 hrs yesterday to insert the little slideshow at the top of the page.  I am stupid or what?  Finished at 1am this morning and went to bed with a smile.  I am always so chuffed when mastering something on the computer that I think I can't.  I think it looks good too!

 

PAINTING & SENIOR CITIZENS SEDENTARY OLYMPICS - CLOSING CEREMONY

SENIOR CITIZENS SEDENTARY OLYMPICS

CLOSING CEREMONY

The Saga Arena was full to bursting with - 53 people.  The atmosphere was electric - 45 people were still awake with 10 mins to go.  At 6.37pm a fanfare of a one man band heralded the entrance of the not so fit athletes. However, there was some needle between the gold and silver medal winners of  the Knittathon.  Kim Cable who won the 1 ft sprint in perl, then set a world record in the knitting marathon for the longest scarf in 2hr 30mins was arguing with Angela Aaron who missed out by
1 cm and felt her quality was better as she hadnt dropped a stitch.  It was a perler of a fight but eventually they made up and in the end were having a ball.  The dancers pirouetted once then took a bow.   The applause was not deafening - 12 people were still awake. The song 'The Yawning Man' was being played (yes an actual sleep inducing song).


 It was thought that fireworks would have been too loud for the Seniors so sparklers and catherine wheels created a spectacular sight.  The flag was lowered, the flame extinguished.  The Games were over.  There was muted applause, one person was still awake!  I was that person!  A lone alert athlete, Pretty Polly Perkins - Sadly deciding to hang up my trainers for the last time.  We had inspired a generation (Older it's true)

 

I hope you have enjoyed this bit of nonsense.  This painting really is of my favourite old trainers.

 

I have now set up yet another blog, this time a serious one ... it's called http://pollyswatercolours.blogspot.com it will highlight my typical work, various courses, workshops and general watercolour information.   Perhaps you would like to take a butchers!