Annie was a gentle, quiet, kind, motherly type of figure, who everyone called Auntie Annie. She was a good artist, in particular painting weird and wonderful abstracts, she baked lovely cakes for special occasions, like weddings, special anniversaries and for Christmas. A right clever devil really. Until, one day she picked up a book by accident off the shelf in Tesco. She thought it was an instructional art book about colour mixing. She really needed help with your greys.
Annie here is reading Fifty Shades of Grey! She has now decided to grow old disgracefully. She's going to ditch the yellowed bloomers and thermal vest and buy a black and red basque from Evans, and has joined a northern dating agency on t'internet, who claim "We'll get yer a bloke lass". I say, Go Girl!!!